A rambling little train of thought I had this morning.
I had written a response on a friend's post in which I'd quoted a couple of things and they responded, "I love how you always have a literary reference."
Words can damage - the school yard saying about sticks and stones is rubbish as words deal significant mental and emotional damage, the effects of which reverberate through our lives long after mere physical wounds have healed.
Over the course of our lives we hear a lot of different things and a lot of different things about ourselves from a lot of different people - parents, family, friends, strangers - some of which are good, some of which are bad, and some of which are neutral. Most of the people who say these things hardly think twice about them. They say the thing and, once expressed, the thought passes out of them and they think the thoughts effect on the world has passed. But those words live on long after in our memories and merge with similar words we encounter from other sources. Long after we first heard words they echo through our lives, the moans of the ghosts of our past and swirl around us like a cloud. The effects of that cloud depend greatly on the words that make it up. For some the cloud is a healing curative restoring them, for others it is a fog of depression that they must constantly fight against.
In my life, while I was teased a lot growing up, I had great parents, family, and friends who gave me good words of encouragement, words that were echoed in the books I read, so my cloud is armor and curative cushioning blows from the outside world.
I have several friends who aren't as lucky I know. I can't see their clouds myself, for each of our clouds is ours alone, but from what they tell me, from what little I can catch a glimpse of, their clouds are like whirlwinds of tiny glass shards constantly imparting tiny little slices to their mental and emotional well being. One tiny slice is annoying, but one can heal, but dozens of constant tiny slices is a tortuous way to try to life, and I am in awe of their power, and strength and endurance surviving and thriving in such and environment day after day.
I feel it is extremely important, as a person who has been lucky enough to have an amazing, positive word cloud, to share my word cloud with others. Word by word, conversation by conversation I hope I can start transforming their word clouds from the whirlwinds of glass shards that they have been in the past to being a little more the armor and healing cozy cushion that I'm lucky enough to have.
I think it is extremely important for all of us to remember that when we speak to others whatever words we choose to give them will impact them more and longer than we think they will so it is important to make those words, so often as possible, words that are positive and uplifting and caring and avoid words that hurt. When we must criticize, we should try to criticize constructively.
I know I don't always succeed in doing this. It is easy to be carried away by emotions such as fear, anger, and hatred - the Dark Side - and fling weaponized words in an effort to defend our wounded and hurting core. But knowing how my friends struggle with their clouds day after day I know I need to keep trying even though I sometimes fail, because there are so many people like my friends who struggle invisibly with word clouds that I will never see or know and my kind words may be for them a rock in an invisible storm that I don't even know is happening.
As is my habit, and in appreciation of the kind compliment from my friend with which I started this ramble, I'll conclude with a quote from the opening paragraphs of Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, "Whether true or false, what is said about [people] often has as much influence on their lives, and particularly on their destinies, as what they do."
Just a thought as I sit here trying to solve the world's problems and dreaming of better tomorrows.
